Today I set out to conquer demons…
I start therapy for reasons I won’t get into right now. These demons have been around since early childhood… I remember them well. And, though I can keep them at bay most of the time, sometimes, they come alive; unexpectedly and very strong.
I’m not in a horrible place right now. I feel I’m a few notches below where I should be in terms of my well-being. But I feel I’m in a slow, downward spiral right now and I need to address it.
It’s very humbling to admit that I need this. Part of me, the realist, says that it’s a futile endeavor; that the demons are part of me… they are me. That anything I do will just be covering up a part of what I am.
But a tiny, hopeful side says I can be rid of these demons. Never mind the previous 35+ years of my existence that I’ve lived with them! I WILL overcome them! So, tonight I feel anxious to get started. I’m not in the best place as I write this. In fact, I may delete this post (as I have so many before).
Someday, I would very much like to be a martial arts “master.” Always have. But I personally feel that to attain this, I need to overcome myself. I could never consider myself a master with these un-vanquished demons.
Wish me luck! I’m gonna need it!
“We all have inner demons to fight. We call these demons ‘fear’, and ‘hatred’, and ‘anger’. If you don’t conquer them, then a life of a hundred years… is a tragedy. If you do, a life of a single day can be a triumph.” - Yip Man (as quoted in Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story)